Who the heck turns to their friend and says, “Gee, if only there was a new miracle drug out there for my MODERATE to SEVERE unpronounceable skin rash?”
No one, that’s who.
Yet some long-suffering writer on some Big Pharma account was probably pecked to death by The Lawyers until they put that horrid “MODERATE to SEVERE” phrase in their script. And now, I can never un-hear it.
Which is why I was driven to post this rant today, sharing a few tips and hopefully sparing you some MODERATE to SEVERE pain. Here we go.
Tip #1: To avoid robot-speak, read your script out loud.
In this Big Pharma example, there were so many better ways to handle this turd—tucking it in to a less noticeable part of the script or trying to make it sound more natural (“…most days my unpronounceable skin rash is fairly moderate but it can get pretty severe…”). Anything is better than trying to pretend regular people speak in stilted pseudo-medical terms while out walking the dog.
But writing great copy is only half the job.Defending the integrity of the idea and protecting the clarity and power of the words—that’s the real magic that a good writer brings to the party.
Tip #2: The brief informs the copy. It is not copy.
If you’re lucky, your Client trusts that you understand their business and gives you agency to write around the landmines of legal jargon and mandatories in the brief.A good writer can deliver great copy that somehow flies an inch under the legal radar and gets out into the wild, unscathed.
A lazy writer just rolls over on round one and takes dictation. Don’t be the lazy writer. Give it your very best until the bitter end. I learned this lesson the way most of us do: two years of conference calls and a lot of tequila. Here’s what happened:
I was a Junior Baby Copywriter working for a Big Huge Ad Agency on a Big Huge Credit Card Account. We were launching the world’s first rewards program so it was especially epic and painful (like birthing a baby hippo wrapped in barbed-wire).I wrote the launch campaign every damn day for two years. Wars were fought and won, babies were conceived and born…and still we toiled.
When we finally got it approved, the work wasn’t terrible. The art director managed to keep the hot pink plane in his logo and I still had some pretty decent headlines. We were thrilled—it was finally over! The studio got stoned in the spray mount booth and the writers bellied up to the bar.
And then they sent everything off to The Lawyers (aka The Sales Prevention Team)
What came back was unrecognizable. Gutted.
We were outraged! And since we were all still relatively young and full of piss and vinegar (& tequila) we demanded an audience with The Lawyers. And we got it.
Tip #3: Get your feedback from the horse’s mouth.
When possible, it’s best to have a conversation to go over feedback—especially if it’s particularly awful. So, the AE set-up a call with The Lawyers (this was before Zoom, thank The Lord).They droned on and on: “Wa wah wah wa wah.”
But then we came to the call-to-action that I’d worked so hard to craft. The Lawyers had deleted it entirely!
So, I asked innocently, “Can you please tell us what your concern was with the call-to-action?”
“Well yes. We deleted that because IT MIGHT ENTICE SOMEONE TO BUY.” said The Lawyer.
Mute. Tequila shots all around.
Un-mute: “Well, that is the goal of this marketing effort—to get people to buy what we’re selling.” I said diplomatically.
“It will need to be rewritten then, to be less definitive.” said The Lawyer.
“So, weaker?” I said.
“Yes.” said The Lawyer.
“Less enticing?” I said.
“Yes.” said The Lawyer.
Mute: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk!”
Un-mute. “Ok, we’ll circle back with some options.” chirped the AE.
It seemed like a death at the time, I mourned it so. But that’s how creatives are wired—we’re emotionally invested.
You see, most clients will never know how much of ourselves we pour into their brands, how we toss and turn, how we agonize over the way a headline breaks or if the copy should justify right or if there’s a better way to say what’s been said a million times before.
But we do. Which is why you hire us in the first place. Because you do spreadsheets and we do ideas. Ying to your yang, and so forth. Which leads me to my final words of wisdom:
Tip #4: Know thy enemy.
Get a sense of your Client (and The Lawyers). Are they a Mild, Medium or Spicy Client? Is their Spicy your Mild? Don’t water things down if it’s right for the brand but it helps to know what your Client is likely to tolerate, up front.
Tip #5: Succinct, actionable feedback is less expensive (for you & them)
Time is money. So, it behooves you to understand the approval process. Who has to sign-off on this work? Can the reviewer(s) provide feedback and avoid “fixing” it for you?Will there be consensus? Or will this be death by a thousand Google Docs?
Tip #6: Battle it out in the Brief—it’s less bloody.
If possible, it’s best to fight the legal battles upfront in the Brief, not all over the Creative.I can’t stress this one enough. Get clarity around mandatories and legal landmines as you develop the Brief with the Client. Understand what’s going to send them into Level 10 Hysteria. Why? (If you don’t understand why, you can’t proactively solve for this.)
Remember: A good writer can usually think of a way to write around the legal turds or at least weave them in so they don’t stink up the whole campaign. There’s a bit of an art and science to it but worth it in the end.
In addition to battling The Sales Prevention Team on behalf of all writers, I help companies hone their message and connect with customers. Stop by when you get a chance:www.freerangewriter.net
